Thoughts from 36,000 feet

On my flight to Austin, TX a few weekends ago something came to me. I wasn't thinking about anything in particular at the time. I was just reading a book and trying to, with true airplane ettiquite, not touch the man's hairy elbow on the armrest next to me. The thought was this: I am not waiting for my life to come to me.
Let me back up a bit.
For any reader of this blog, the few things I've written have generally centered on some kind of topic of self-discovery or self-exploration. I started this blog because I find myself longing for an understanding of, and balance between, who I am, who I was created to be, and my relationships with people, with God, with the world around me.
I will share the thought again, I am not waiting for my life to come to me. It's present tense, not future. It's not a commitment for the future, not some declaration or resolution. It's already happening. I am simply living. The thought entered my mind suddenly. Not fast and hard like a train, but as simple as a sweet friend telling me something as obvious and true and beautiful as "the sky is blue".
For so long I waited in discontent for my life to come to me, not necessarily always consciously. I could fill in the blank at any given time for what constituted a "full" life... marraige, a place of my own, the perfect job, the perfect place to live, etc. I don't know what happened to change my mindset, nor do I recall when it all began. I just know that on an uncomfortable plane ride it struck me that I haven't been living in that mindset for quite sometime, and moreso that I didn't get myself here, it wasn't out of my will or effort.
This isn't some sort of self-discovery essay where I conclude with a chorus of "life is a highway". My conclusion is that I am alive. That all kinds of tiny particles make up bigger particles that end up making an organ or a flake of skin or a strand of red hair or a weird, pun-loving, Jesus-worshiping person called Jessie. And no, it's not by chance. It's not random. I was created this way. Created to be alive, created to actually live in the fullest meaning of the word, to enjoy living as me. The intricacy, the detail, the purpose put into that demands nothing but a humble, worshipful, joyful heart. Given all that, how can I not just simply trust God for today?
What a perfectly freeing and exciting thing. There is nothing more I could have at this moment that would make this moment more full of life. Life being at times adventurous and fun, at times painful and mournful, responsible and reliable, quiet, thoughtful, boring, or none of the above. I trust that I have all I need and so I just live. I am really enjoying this simple truth.